“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” — Wayne Dyer
Change can be scary for some, devastating for a few, a tremor for many but change is inevitable for all.
How does one react to change is what matters!
At an early age, I realized that change is constant. Yet, some changes in our life bring fear with them, isn’t t it?
So, why do we fear change?
We fear change primarily because we cannot anticipate the outcome.
When I was in my teens, I remember that I resisted changing a lot, even good change. I believed that if I stuck in my heels, maybe, change will go away. I slowly realized that the more I dug in my heels, the difficult it was to pull out my legs and walk towards change. I would find myself creating a deep hole, and I peek out; the change is still there. I then make an even deeper hole till the change is not visible.
What do you think happened then? I was so deep that I was unable to get out when I tried to. I was living in fear, and it lowered my confidence. I was completely knocked off balance, and when I came out of the hole I dug in for myself, the change was still there, and I had to accept the change; only now, it became a lot more complicated.
When we become so comfortable with the status quo and resist change, it gets harder to embrace the change.
But one big thing I learnt from that experience is to manage change. Here are the three main lessons that I learnt from that experience.
1. Take a tiny step:
The first step towards change is the most difficult. What I do now is just take a tiny step, test the waters, give myself a chance to retreat, learn from that experience and again venture forward. Taking small steps towards change and learning along the way can make you feel as if you are moving, making progress, and the change does not appear as fearsome as before.
2. Have choices:
One of the reasons people resist change is when they feel they have no choices. When we think that we do not have any options, we crawl into a hole or ignore or blame ourselves or others. I have learned that when I focus on possibilities rather than on problems, I can take control of my thoughts and emotions. When I face a change, one activity is to take a paper and draw the various routes to the change. I come up with as many routes as possible, some easy and few rugged roads. Now, I have many choices to make. Putting it visually on paper helps me see the options laid out in front of me, and now I can make an informed decision.
3. Weighing the Best and Worst:
One of the most valuable lessons I learnt is to see the best and worst-case scenario in case of an unfavourable change. Any change can breed doubt and fear, but it could bring hope too. Asking to myself, “What’s the best that could happen?” and “What’s the worst that could happen?” and imagining myself in both these scenarios has helped me prepare for the unexpected twists and turns.
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” — John Maxwell
